Lebanon

As mentioned previously, I was to fly to Lebanon to sort out all the problems there. Because rival blog owners and banned former members of this blog are pasting my every word around the internet I’m unable to disclose whether or not I went and whether I sorted the problems out.

These sad ********* are jealous of my genius, that’s their problem and I wont give them the time of day. The sad **.

Archer 32:86 – Clip, clip, clip Oh come on. Who are you kidding. You wait till I’m Mayor. You’ll find out how tough I am.

There’s a winner!

Congratulations to Steve McCat of Wallsend who is the winner of the Whitley Bay competition.

Great one Steve, you gave my favourite answer with

Duncan Mitty is a great bloke.

You stretched the rules a bit but it was a stand out entry. You’ll be the lucky one this Saturday. I’ll pick you up just outside me mam’s house at the usual time, open the HQ door for me so I can get the car out.

Competition

GREAT NEW COMPETITION

I feel sorry for people around the world who don’t have the money to spend a night out in Whitley Bay. For this reason I’m running a very special competition for all my blog readers where the winner will be flown in from any corner of the globe to spend a night in Whitley Bay with yours truly.

The night will include:

• Chauffer driven Merc to and from The Meat Market club in central Whitley Bay.
• A Night in the DME HQ (I’ll move the bikes, boxes and the car hehe)
• 4 Bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale.
• A chance to pick up a rare venereal disease from a slag.

Simply complete the following phrase in no more than one word and words of over 3 letters:

Duncan Mitty is a …

I’ll announce the winner in the next blog posting.

Pathetic losers

Well, as everyone knows, I run a Gold version of this blog with particularly juicy fabricated news. People pay good money to hear my insight into a range of subjects. Many of the world’s movers and shakers are subscribers (see the comments for their names) but I wouldn’t like to mention their names as that’s just not my way.

A few rival blog members and former banned members of this blog took it upon themselves to claim that I’ve been talking rubbish, then started a campaign pointing this out around the web. The sad **********.

99.9% of what I say is true. I put the odd snippet of a lie in here and on the Gold blog but it’s just for a laugh. No-one gets hurt, lets face it. There are more important things going on in the world like the imminent nuclear holocaust and my fleecing of Gold blog users (Mr WordPress, can you edit that last bit out, I’m not sure how to. Free Gold Blog membership if you do) to worry about sad ********* like the rival blog owners and former banned members of this blog.

From now on I wont mention them as they have done no damage whatsoever to this blog. It’s going from strength to strength and the number of users has doubled in the past 4 milliseconds. In fact, it’s trebled in the time it took me to write this sentence. Quadrupled in the time it took me to chew this pork scratching. That’s what people think of my blog, they vote with their feet. And they are voting in numbers.

Anyway, as I said I’m not mentioning the rival blog owners and former banned members of this blog again. The sad *********.

I’ve been having a bit of a problem with rival blog members, former banned members of this blog and people speaking up to me of late. I’m all for a bit of discussion, after all this is your blog, not mine. But I can’t have any of this disrespectful rubbish from a few people because I banned a couple of numpties for speaking the truth. There are more important things in the world like the imminent nuclear holocaust (see above) so get your priorities right you moaning little whingebags.

Subscribe to the Gold Blog: £30 a year, free SMS (extra £40 a year) and loads of competitions. PO Box 287, Wallsend, DM15 F4T