Two fantastic pieces of news today.
We found Derekanna washed up at the bottom of the garden and she’s back working in the remnants of the DME HQ.
As you can see from the picture on the left she’s looking as fantastic as ever. You will recall that Derek, as we like to call her, is only helping us out over the summer and it means she’ll be back doing her A Levels later in the year.
Unfortunately for me, this means I can only ask for donations on the basis of Demi’s demisal and the DME HQ rebuild, so I’ll need to up the effort a bit.
The second piece of great news is that after consulting the “suits” [this is all just a hobby for me, I'm not a suit, hard to believe I know] is that I’ve found a cheaper host for this blog. The recent quotation of £10,000 per year has been recalculated to a much more reasonable £17.99.
Don’t stop sending the money in, we need to rebuild our HQ after the recent earthquake and tsunami. I’m looking at some particularly opaque blinds for the windows as rival blog owners and banned former members (the sad *********) of this blog were claiming that the DME HQ was really the garage at me mam’s house and that’s just not true. You can trust me, we’re all family.
I’m talking with the “suits” again to discuss the design of the new DME HQ. I’ve already spoken to Norman Foster as I wanted something like the Swiss Re Tower (I’m partial to a gherkin or two) but I’ve decided against him. The “drawing board”, as I like to refer to him, was a bit too arrogant for my liking and threatened to call the rozzers if I didn’t get out of his garden.
So, I came up with a few ideas of my own and have settled on a meat pie.
If the “drawing board” can do it, so can I. It’s simple yet captures the essence of my work here at the HQ in a delicious short crust pastry. I’m particularly proud of the crusty rim motif, that’s rare on buildings in the Wallsend area.
I could be in for a RIBA award for this one but keep that to yourself. I’ll keep you updated with any developments.
And don’t forget, even in my time of need I’m still willing to listen to any problems you have. Send the details to the usual address, stapled to a ten pound note.
“Duncan Mitty? if that fat… calls me again I’ll shoo… and you can tell him I want my money back, the fat…” – Oliver Key, The Torygraph
