You got beef?

Yo! sup Big Daddy upstairs here, mofo. Me ‘n ma jigga Ruff was cold-lampin in da xbox crib as da regulators do, sippinn’ my forty. Shiie, Ruff was strapped ready to fly gangsta shit, man. I say “what tha dilly do?” he say “You got beef?” I say, yeh, “Me got beef, ma burger”. We was lunchin.

He be axe me “Yo got yo B.M.W? we need da 411 on da rival bloggers dissing you, it’s on”. I say “sku me, dumbass?” He a foo, try-fo-lin, I be packin a Merc ‘n portakabin ‘n No 1 VIP Boutros Website on the internet (sign up for the Gold Blog 2.0 here). No skeeting to Scouseland fo me in da B.M.W. I schooled da foo.

Ma jigga, Ruff, keepin’ it real.

Da rival blog owners and banned formers members of this blog (the sad *******) buggin’ ‘n bumpin’ da Big Daddy. They is playaz, haps in da hood?. Rise up foos, we is not rollin deep wi dis wack shit. I gonna steal yo. Yo is no bo jangling here. Ruff packin’ a piece an ma bruva da po-leece in da Wallsend hood, yo. Ball out or Ruff be bustin’ a cap in yo ass.

Peace out.

Changes in the AUP and other news

To keep up with recent events I have changed part of the AUP for the blog, see below.

Your Promises and Indemnity

137. By using this site you promise that:

137.1 you (or your agent) must not contradict any bullshit that I write.

137.2 you (or your agent) must not post links to rival blogs.

137.3 you (or your agent) must not call into question any delusions I may or may not have.

137.4 you (or your agent) must not be a numpty.

137.5 you (or your agent) must not expose my bullshit on rival blogs.

Other News

I met a contract killer in New York the other day. Lovely chap, said if I ever needed anything to contact him immediately. I was only having a pint of John Smith’s in Manhattan too LOL. Not sure why I’m telling you this. Just something I thought of then. Funny how the mind works, yeh, funny. It was just someone I could call on if needed.

Subscriptions through the roof – new webcam

This has been the best ever summer for DME. Subscriptions are through the roof as you can see from the addictive, fun-packed chat on the blog.

To celebrate this, I’ve added a webcam feature to the blog which allows everyone to see the goings on outside the HQ. If you’re lucky you might see me pop out to the pie shop, me cranking up the bullshit generating machine in the morning or me parking the second hand Merc up me mam’s drive.

I’ll put up another webcam displaying my bank statements when I can be arsed but this financial stuff really bores me. I’m absolutely minted and I don’t care who knows.

Remember, this is just a hobby and I do it all for you. DME costs me money to run and your donations contribute only a little to the costs of the only VIP Boutros Boutros-Ghali on the internet. I could pack it all in tomorrow, I could have sold up for billions in the dotcom boom, I don’t know why I bother, really, I don’t.

I’ll make a promise to you all, if Boutros Boutros-Ghali ever leaves his post as UN Secretary General I’ll hang up the keyboard and mouse forever. Yes, you guessed it, I’ll buy a trackball and use voice recognition software and that’s a promise from me to you.

WEBCAM

The webcam updates every time someone makes a post so that’s some incentive to the unwashed masses to join in the hot Boutros chat going on in my fun-packed, addictive, informative, life-changing and world peace achieving blog.

Last Updated 27/08/2006 13:03

Subscribe to the Gold Blog 2.0 for the Webcam 2.0. 25fps updates, ad-free, invue free, popup free pencilled in heh sources weeeeeeeee oop oop oop insider VIP muhahahaha yeh yeh haha NURSE! NURSE! suits, suits, horse Clouseau Clouseau, you said a beurm? loony blog loony loony numpties done it for years mate mate mate heh mate newspaper reports claim hahahha NURSE! NURSE! insider sources mate heh I can’t take it any more NURSE! NURSE! had it for years mate hehahahaha drinking woodpecker in Timbuktu pencilled in insider sources gateman painter horse boardroom moderators children oop oop oop me me me me me me me me

“et tu, Brendan?”

Gold Blog Features!

The only VIP Boutros Boutros-Ghali website in the world!
Yeh, there are plenty of Boutros sites out there but this is the only VIP site. You’re all very important to me, as long as you pay up and don’t do anything I don’t like.

FREE* Insider membership worth £20!
To be honest it costs £20 if I feed the money through my step-brother’s bank account. It only costs £3 cash so I can bag the cash without the Inland Revenue knowing about it.

FREE* unlimited access to ad-free Boutros News
When I can be arsed ripping some stories off and rewording them or completely fabricating news stories.

FREE* unlimited major Boutros news alerts delivered by SMS worldwide (24/7 coverage, 365 days-a-year)
When I can be arsed sending them, that is.

FREE* plane tickets – every year we give away various plane tickets to New York to see the UN building
When I can be arsed sending them, that is.

FREE* username@Boutros-Boutros-Ghali.net email address by request
Yeh, you request it, go on.

FREE* unlimited access to online games arcade
Yeh, you can’t get these exact same games for free elsewhere. Well, apart from the site where my link points to.

FREE* unlimited access to Boutros galleries
Yeh, free pics that some mug has taken for me. I’ve never been near Boutros meself. Sorry, I have, many times. No I haven’t. Yes I have. I had a pint of John Smith’s in a New York bar with him yesterday. Yes I did.

FREE* personal gallery to upload, store and share your Boutros photos online with other members
Forget the free photobucket and flickr sites, pay me money and store them on my server!

All Gold Blog features are completely ad-free i.e. no banner ads, no pop-ups, no pop-unders, no-invues!
Yeh, no more porn pop ups. They disgust me, I have a teenage daughter you know and I don’t want her seeing this.

FREE* unlimited access to pictures of women without clothes on
Yeh , my wife left me and I’m an ugly fat bastard so I need these pictures, keep sending them in.

Blistering fast dedicated servers power the Gold Blog and as there’s no ads, you will notice a massive difference in speed!
I think I meant blisteringly fast but they are blistering fast too. You’ll have blisters on the palm of your right hand when you view the pics of women with no clothes on them.

Your own FREE* P.A. when you go on holiday – We’ll call you, SMS you, fax you, email you, major Boutros news as it happens!
Post the truth on this blog and you’ll get a call alright. I’ll use my Honey Monster lookalike student, Derekanna, to threaten to kneecap you. She’s a big Geordie biffer, don’t mess with her. She’ll call you at home or work providing we can do a whois lookup and get the company name from the IP address. If all else fails we’ll just ban you and sell your details to a spam company.

Exclusive competitions for prizes worth winning e.g. X-Box 360’s, PSP’s, Digital Cameras, MP3 players etc
Yeh, loads of competitions. None deemed as lotteries under my laws. And that’s what counts. They’ll never be deemed as a lottery because the prizes don’t exist, great eh?

FREE* weekly participation in our Gold Blog UK Lotto syndicate – We spend at least £100-a-month on the national lottery for you!
Yeh, and if we win I’ll send you all a postcard from Rio from my new house. Only kidding, I’d never do that, I don’t buy the tickets in the first place.

Seen a Boutros teaser on Teletext? They want you to call £1-a-min premium rate number? Let us know and we’ll found out what it’s about!
Yeh, my whole site it based on ripped off news. Call us on a premium rate number and we’ll call a premium rate number for you, then reword the story and put it in the news section! Everyone’s a winner, me, me and me.

Never dial a premium rate DME competition again – submit your entries by email for free*!
In this age of interweb technology we are the first VIP Boutros site on the web to make this facility available. Send the entries to dustbin@duncanmitty.com and I’ll look at them just after I’ve finished with the support tickets.

Priority email support, priority online support, priority telephone support 7 days-a-week
Priority is a nice word, it’s all relative though. I never look at freebie mug request but I’ll definitely make the Gold Blog priority higher. I look at those once a year without fail.

Links to video clips including every Boutros appearance usually within minutes of Sky News showing it**
Yeh, any Boutros news and I’ll be there capping it within minutes.

Links to audio clips of interest**
Same again, I’m a real copyright thief. Pay me, pay me!

Help with plane tickets via our Executive Lounge forums
You need help with tickets to see Boutros, contact us first. We’ll tout the tickets and make a few quid.

Secret links to FREE* online audio commentary of Boutros press conferences when available**

Secret links to FREE* online live video footage of Boutros press conferences when available (99% of conferences covered in 2005-06)**

Secret links to FREE* Boutros video downloads for your iPod, PC etc when available. Some games can be downloaded in full!**
Very secret. I’ve heard these can only be found with a simple one word Google search. Also, I meant to delete this as I’ve been under investigation from the authorities but I put a disclaimer at the bottom instead. That’ll fool ‘em.

Guaranteed place in our dedicated commentary/chat room on press conference days
Yup, we have a freebie IRC server full of clueless fuckwits or members of the clique who’ll abuse you at the drop of a hat.

A fun, friendly, addictive community packed with Boutros Boutros-Ghali fans – blogs include The Billionaire Oligarch Lounge & The Platinum Bar
It’s fun as long as you stay within my rules. Anyone veering away from those gets banned so I’m having fun alright.

VIP contributors including various luminaries associated to Boutros – present and former UN delegates!
Yeh, as many luminaries as I can think of and create fake accounts for. If any are missing, let me know and I’ll get straight on to creating the accounts. Of course lots of luminaries read the blog but don’t use their real names.

Full access to Press Conference Reports, Press Conference Dates, The DME Diary, The Mitty files, and of course, The UN Aardvark!
Yeh, as soon as I can rip them off from other websites they’re straight on here! Don’t bother with those reputable free newspapers, pay me instead!

* FREE in this context means “Available providing you pay me a subscription”. Don’t be fooled by rival sites that do this for free i.e. don’t take a subscription, as I don’t make a penny from that rubbish.

** DME does not have an archive of illegal video material on its servers nor do we stream Boutros footage. My mate, Ruff***, stores all that stuff on his server in the US in the hope that the authorities wont bother checking up over there. Links to other footage are provided by myself under a made-up username so I’m completely in the clear as they’d never go as far as checking that out. During 2005 99.9% of Boutros press conferences were available for FREE* from the DME site. I’m not very bright so I can’t help another pathetic thicko attempt at conning subscribers so I’ve just made a retarted sales pitch in the legal disclaimer that more or less admits my guilt. If you want to follow Boutros to the max then a Gold Blog subscription will help you achieve this but, more importantly, help me fill my mattress to the max with £20 notes. As a subscriber, if you see anything that breaches copyright then tell me and I’ll remove it. That’s cunning really because I can blame you lot if something slips through. On the other hand, considering most of my site is breaching copyright I’m really in the shit.

*** Ruff is a grade A mug I met on xbox live. He’s my only friend.

Subscribe to the Gold Blog 2.0. Only £30 per year and loads of FREE* stuff.

EXCLUSIVE: Agent heading to Armfield to cry and bludgeon seal

DME understands that Tristran Asquith – a local estate agent from the Wallsend area – is to visit Leeds player, Jimmy Armfield, in the hope of marketing his house.

The 70-year-old England international’s house is due to be sold at some point in the future and he’s rejected the offers put to him by local estate agents.

Tristran is expected to arrive in the Leeds area today. Afterwards he will hold a mini-selling-session with his client to discuss the options, one of them could be to put the house on the market.

Jimmy can negotiate with any estate agent he wishes. He could then put his house on the market at a cheaper rate or may opt to stick with a local estate agent.

If Tristran cannot get the deal in place he’s likely to sob a bit in the hope Jimmy feels sorry for him.

The meeting, pencilled in for some point in the future, is likely to conclude with threats to Jimmy’s pet seal if a deal cannot be done. If Tristran takes this stance it is likely that he would be promoted to Jimmy’s list of “possibles”.

DISCLAIMER: All this information was stolen from a conversation I overheard from rival bloggers and some trivial facts may be wrong. If this story turns out to be incorrect, anyone pointing this out will be immediately banned. I don’t want pathetic children on this blog.

“DME understands” – Duncan “oxymoron” Mitty 2006

Bans – an explanation

There has been a bit of discussion lately regarding the number of banned members of this blog.

I can categorically say I’ve never banned anyone from this blog who didn’t want to be banned. They haven’t explicitly asked to be banned but I have a sixth sense where I can detect someone who actually wants to be banned.

This shows itself in a number of guises:

• Disagreeing with me – this is an immediate ban, this is your blog and we’re all family and because we’re all the DME family, what I say goes and that’s the end of it, yeh.

• Posting the truth – that is another immediate ban, I don’t want any of that namby pamby “truth” rubbish on this blog thank you very much. I pride myself on finely crafted bullshit and I wont have anyone undermining me with facts and the like, yeh.

• Paying for a subscription – people who are paid members are in for a possible ban as I’ve bagged the cash and don’t give two shites about them any more, yeh.

• Advertising rival blogs – this is another immediate ban. As far as I’m concerned no rival blogs actually exist apart from when I’m pilfering and rewording stories from them. There are no rival blogs that match up to this one, the Daily Star even said so, must be true, yeh.

• Numptiness - anyone displaying numptiness will have an immediate ban. I decide on the whether someone is a numpty and my say is final, yeh.

• Suggesting improvements to the blog – this is your blog, I lose money on this blog and could retire tomorrow if I wanted to but no-one is allowed to suggest improvements. This is my blog and I’ll take it down my own way, I don’t need suggestions from anyone as I’m doing a fantastic job of ruining it myself, yeh.

• Not giving me personal information – this blog isn’t a charity, I can’t afford to run it without donations. Anyone who gives me personal information will allow me to sell this information on to disreputable companies and make a few quid. Anyone who doesn’t agree to this is banned. You can trust me with your personal information, I’m family, yeh.

• If I think you’re a rival blog contributor – if I have my suspicions about you being one of the writers on a rival blog then you’re in for an immediate ban. I prefer to ban people who’ve paid up as I’ve already bagged the cash but in some circumstances (when you haven’t paid up) I may move you to the numpty blog so you have to massage my ego and beg to be let back into the big boys’ blog. You may pay me something at a later date so I wouldn’t want to lose you before then. I work on percentages, yeh.

So there we have it. Anyone displaying those attributes obviously wants to be banned. You have been warned.

Duncan Mitty Esq – Glavnoe Upravlenie Lagerei

For the hottest UNOFFICAL Boutros action available on the internet subscribe to the Boutros Boutros-Ghali DME OFFICIAL Gold Blog 2.0 (only £30 per year). Do not accept poor imitations, the Daily Star said this blog is shit hot and you can’t get better than that, yeh.

We’ve only gone and done it

Yeh, I flew a banner plane over the UN building as their latest meeting was convened. The message was chosen by a member of the Gold Blog 2.0 who won a competition.

Looks great, doesn’t it? This is what your subscription payments to the Gold Blog 2.0 are spent on.

Rival blog members and banned former members of this blog (the sad ********) have said that I waste your money on self indulgent shite like this rather than getting hold of a genuine insider at the UN building. They’re just jealous. I own a Merc and a shed at me mams house and they just can’t handle someone being as successful as me.

I also own some plasma screens and lots of posters too, they can’t handle that either. That’s the real issue, not all the illegal activity, the conning of gullible teenagers or the constant lies I print on the blog. That’s just a smokescreen they’re using to get at me but it wont work. I’ve handled these sort of numpties for years and will do so for a long time in the future as I’m not changing my ways based on these facts that are printed in rival blog.

Poor me, I’m skint, we can barely keep the servers running. I had to bury my guinea pig and all my family are being threatened. My Doctor died a few years ago, the server costs are enormous. I send a free birthday card (to paying subscribers) every year so please donate to my Gold Blog 2.0. My pet whippet was killed in a bizarre cycling accident and I have no friends as I’m always in the DME HQ writing bullshit. Poor me. I might have to do a proper days work if things carry on like this, please help me.

Things are busy at the HQ, I’ve got Kevin doing all the work while I’m drinking cider in the back yard. The cunning part is that I’ve transferred all the illegal activity associated with this blog to him but I bag all the cash. Great, eh? He’s my stepbrother so I’ll still visit him when he’s banged up. That’s what I’d do for you, you’re all family too. If you were to get banged up for me I’d do the same for you, that’s the kinda guy I am, yeh.

Poor me.

Sign up to the Gold Blog 2.0 (£30 per year) FREE SMS messages (only £40 per year), loads of great competitions, banner messages on the back of planes, pictures of my family in shirts, pictures of poster ridden portakabins, pictures of my plasma TVs, pictures of a second hand Merc, lottery every week, pools too, a free bottle of the elixir of life to every subscriber, a free key fob, free cut and pastes of newspaper articles, free broadsheet newspaper articles reworded into ersatz tabloid style articles, free freebies, 24/7, 99.9% of the time. Come on subscribe, I’ve got a family to feed, help me, poor me! I need help, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, help! The drugs are wearing off, reality is coming back, help!

UN big-hitter in no-show, possible swoop will happen, possibly.

Well, as predicted by DME previously it looks like the UN might have an agreement for a ceasefire between Lebanon and Israel. It was reported by my sources that an agreement is pencilled in for sometime in the future and it certainly looks likely if all goes well between now and that time particular time in the future.

We can safely say that if an agreement is made then there will be an agreement but, on the other hand, if one isn’t agreed then there will most likely not be an agreement.

Meanwhile, Gold Blog 2.0 sources are reporting that if an agreement is to be made it could be made in the near future but if it isn’t made in the near future it could be some time after that unless there isn’t an agreement.

My sources in the national media are reporting the same so it could well be that there might possibly be a probable agreement at an indeterminate point but I think we can safely say it wont be in the past or present, most likely the future.

I have the window cleaner and 3rd floor janitor of the UN building on board and snippets of information are regularly posted on the Gold Blog 2.0 forum (available only to subscribers people who donate). Those sources are saying there could be a ceasefire agreement at some time in the future but, more importantly, they use a chamois and a bucket of suds for the windows. Other recent information leaked from the UN is that someone dropped a bagel near the water cooler, it wasn’t found for a couple of days and was a bit smelly and mouldy when it was found.

Gold Blog 2.0 sources also tell me that Boutros Boutros-Ghali was not present at the latest UN meeting. Rumours are abound that a possible transfer could be in the offing and another global association of Government could swoop for his services in the near future. Read more on the Gold Blog 2.0.

For the hottest unofficial Boutros action available on the internet subscribe to the Boutros Boutros-Ghali DME OFFICIAL Gold Blog 2.0 (only £30 per year)

Primarolo

P R I M A R O L O…….SEE YOU SOON………

“An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.” – Mahatma Gandhi

I don’t know why I bother (sad ***************)

Rival blog members and banned former members of this blog (the sad ************) have reported me for not having a gambling licence for my competitions and for not displaying a valid or registered address for my e-commerce activities. Apparently a PO Box isn’t enough, the sad ********.

It is DME Policy not to reply to these people as they are simply rival blog members and banned former members of this blog trying to bring my empire down. I don’t have to answer to anyone here in the HQ. Well, apart from me mam.

Apparently they are complaining about something as trivial as this from the UK’s e-commerce regulations:
Service providers, whether involved in e-commerce or not, should provide the following minimum information, which must be easily, directly and permanently accessible:

• The name, geographic address and email address of the service provider. The name of the organisation with which the customer is contracting must be given – this might differ from the trading name. Any such difference should be explained – e.g. “X.com is the trading name of XYZ Enterprises Limited.”

It is not sufficient to include a “contact us” form without also providing an e-mail address and geographic address somewhere easily accessible on the site. A PO Box is unlikely to suffice as a geographic address; but a registered office address would.

Abosolute rubbish. I’m not selling anything, any money received goes to the Duncan Mitty Foundation to help unfortunate delusionals in the Wallsend area called Duncan. The DMF is a non-registered charity.

Then they started whingeing about my competitions not being legal under the Gambling Act and the Amusements and Lotteries Act. Pathetic. Apparently three elements must be present for a competition to be deemed a lottery and therefore illegal:

• a distribution of prizes;
• by lot or by chance; and
• chances should be secured by a payment or contribution by those who take part (or the majority of those who take part).

Therefore, if there is no payment or contribution then the competition will be a free prize draw and as such will be legal.

I can assure you that all of my competitions were a free prize draw and not a lottery because no payment was secured to enter. Only Gold Blog members could enter and, as you all know, to be a member of the Gold Blog requires a “donation” not a payment. I rest my case.

Don’t forget none of the prizes actually exist, the competitions are run so I can add to my list of reasons to pay me to be a subscriber of the Gold Blog. It was all a joke.

I will tell the authorities, when they contact me, that there is no reason to proceed with their actions because these people are simply jealous of me and obviously have too much time on their hands to spend time reporting me for trivial matters such as this. I simply dismiss them on this basis and can’t be bothered changing my ways based on these sad ****** reporting the truth.

Poor me, my gerbil died last week and I used to live next-door to a criminal. My doctor died a couple of years ago, my wife left me and in the past and I had to spend time making up stories about threats to my family. I don’t know why I bother I really don’t.

Sure, the purchase of the DME hotel in Atlantis fell through. Sure, the purchase of the house overlooking the hanging gardens of Babylon fell through too. But they were all just a joke, didn’t you see that? I was joking, you didn’t really believe me. It just so happened I got a few extra “donations” when I wrote the stories but that was coincidence, silly.

I could have sold this site to Russ Abbott and Larry Grayson at the height of the dotcom boom but thought I’d stick with my “family” of blog readers to provide them with what they want. You just don’t know how hard it is to do my job, I’m a saint. A little illegal activity here and there shouldn’t stop me. No-one gets hurt, let’s face it. If I make a few quid from gullible teenagers or devoted Boutros Boutros Ghali fans, that’s not a problem for me.

Things are really busy here at DME HQ, subscriber numbers have quadrupled (I’ll post some pictures of my shed and some plasma screens later to prove this) and I barely have time to sit in the back yard drinking Netto cider these days as I’m fabricating stories of buying a house overlooking the hanging gardens of Babylon and meeting Boutros Boutros Ghali 24/7. All for you wonderful readers.

Donate to the Gold Blog 2.0 here. Don’t write to a PO Box No. as I’ve never mentioned one of those and anything you see in the google cache or on archive.org has been put there by rival blog members and banned former members of this blog (the sad ******)

New Blog Rolled Out Early!

As you can plainly see, to keep up with the Joneses I’ve rolled out the mind-blowing new blog which should keep me ahead of the crowd well into the next millenium and beyond. It’ll move me one step further up the blog ladder and it’s all been done 13 years ahead of schedule.

In my role as envisioneer of DME, I decided upon a strategy to build the brand while monetizing the path to profitability on a revolutionary cutting-edge extensible synergistic e-business componentatious best-of-breed community model.

The critical differentiatior between this blog and blogs from rival blog owners and banned former members of this blog (the sad *********) is that I take a proactive maximization of the knowledge architecture view and orchestrate the diversified hub on a bricks-and-clicks basis.

The upside of expediting this granular diversified hub architecture is embracing the clicks and mortar synergy in the supply-chain incubation of domain expertise and reputation mangement on the back-end integrated enterprise transition.

And if I can make a few quid on the side, that’s all the better.

The eagle-eyed of you may have noticed that I changed the order of the links at the side too.

Sign up for the Gold Blog 2.0 here. Only £30 per year.

“I have no idea where and I don’t know if that’s true.“ – Duncan, 2006

A Poem

I had a great poem sent to me from an regular reader of the blog, Rudyard1892. I don’t understand that much of it but I think it’s about rival blog members and banned former members of this blog (the sad *********). It’s worth putting up here in an attempt to show I’m a bit cultured, like. I’m dead cultured, me, yeh.

If

If you can barely keep your website running when all about you
Are increasing hits on theirs and laughing at you,
If you can believe in yourself when all men know the true bullshitting you
But make no allowance for their doubting too,
If you can eat and not be tired by eating,
Or fabricating lies, you must deal in lies,
Or being hated, although, to be honest, they have a point,
And bloggers not making you look too good, nor look too wise:

If you can dream – and always make dreams your master,
If you can’t think – and not make coherent thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with the Inland Revenue and Disaster
And treat those two increasingly likely events just the same;
If you can’t bear to hear the lies you’ve spoken
Reported by bloggers to make you look like a total fool,
Or watch the website you wasted your life on, broken,
By decent blog-writing folk who are unbelievably cool

If you can take one heap of all your immoral earnings
And risk them all on one turn of internet pitch-and-toss,
And lose, then con some more numpty subscribers
And continually post sob-stories about your loss;
If you can’t keep forum members believing in you
And lie about them long after they are gone,
And pitifully hold on to your lies when there is nothing in you
And ban members from the website when they tell you: “You’re a con!”

If you can’t show respect to “numpties” who provide earnings for you,
Or pretend to talk with “suits” – nor lose the common touch,
If you have no real friends but enemies can hurt you;
If only bribed minions agree with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving podcast minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of racist scum,
Yours is the Hell and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a lying, scheming, shitbag, my son!

Nice one Rudyard! you write exceedingly good poems. That’ll show the rival blog members and banned former members (the sad ********) of this blog up for what they really are!

Meet great people like Rudyard1892 in the Gold Blog, subscribe here for only £30 a year (cheque or postal order made payable to DME Inc.) or £5 for cash, cushty.

Duncan 12:11 – “Look after number one, it’s what I do every day of the week”

DME HQ Completed

I took a ride in my helicopter earlier today to get some great pictures of the recently completed DME HQ on my HDTV Panavision Hollywood camera. I’ll be talking to Steven Spielberg later in the week as I have something he wants.

Looks wonderful doesn’t it? Notice the Merc parked just outside me mam’s house, reg plate B1 ULL, that’s my pride and joy. I dreamed of that car when I was living in a bedsit and was plebian scum like you, so there’s hope for you yet.

When I can be arsed I’ll post some updates but all this financial stuff really bores me. I don’t know why I bother, I could sell up tomorrow and live off the profits, you know. I had an offer from Charles Aznavour and Larry Ellison a few years back to pack it all in but I just had to keep the blog running for you wonderful people. We’re all family remember.

Kevin and Derekanna were busy working away today in the newly kitted out HQ as I sat drinking Barley Wine in the back yard. Kevin will become the Editor of this blog in the near future and now I’ve bought him a Sinclair C5 he can follow Boutros Boutros Ghali around the world and bring you the latest and greatest news. Coupled with all the insider information I have the Gold Blog has the hottest unofficial Boutros action on the net, anywhere.

Don’t forget the recent troubles in Wallsend with the earthquake and tsunami. Don’t forget the problems in Lebanon either. Those sort of tragedies put things into perspective, the loss of life, the mindless killing of children and the implications for economies all over the world. When I hear of these rival blog members and banned former members of this blog (the sad ********) whingeing away on their rival blogs and keeping their eyes on every move I make it makes me laugh. They’re just jealous of my genius. They should see the tragedies in the world and stop spending their sad ******* little lives following me around watching every move I make, the sad *******. It doesn’t bother me though, it’s good publicity for this blog, the sad ******.

When you see people dying in Lebanon it puts everything into perspective, money doesn’t matter at all.

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