There has been a bit of discussion lately regarding the number of banned members of this blog.
I can categorically say I’ve never banned anyone from this blog who didn’t want to be banned. They haven’t explicitly asked to be banned but I have a sixth sense where I can detect someone who actually wants to be banned.
This shows itself in a number of guises:
- Disagreeing with me – this is an immediate ban, this is your blog and we’re all family and because we’re all the DME family, what I say goes and that’s the end of it, yeh.
- Posting the truth – that is another immediate ban, I don’t want any of that namby pamby “truth” rubbish on this blog thank you very much. I pride myself on finely crafted bullshit and I wont have anyone undermining me with facts and the like, yeh.
- Paying for a subscription – people who are paid members are in for a possible ban as I’ve bagged the cash and don’t give two shites about them any more, yeh.
- Advertising rival blogs – this is another immediate ban. As far as I’m concerned no rival blogs actually exist apart from when I’m pilfering and rewording stories from them. There are no rival blogs that match up to this one, the Daily Star even said so, must be true, yeh.
- Numptiness - anyone displaying numptiness will have an immediate ban. I decide on the whether someone is a numpty and my say is final, yeh.
- Suggesting improvements to the blog – this is your blog, I lose money on this blog and could retire tomorrow if I wanted to but no-one is allowed to suggest improvements. This is my blog and I’ll take it down my own way, I don’t need suggestions from anyone as I’m doing a fantastic job of ruining it myself, yeh.
- Not giving me personal information – this blog isn’t a charity, I can’t afford to run it without donations. Anyone who gives me personal information will allow me to sell this information on to disreputable companies and make a few quid. Anyone who doesn’t agree to this is banned. You can trust me with your personal information, I’m family, yeh.
- If I think you’re a rival blog contributor – if I have my suspicions about you being one of the writers on a rival blog then you’re in for an immediate ban. I prefer to ban people who’ve paid up as I’ve already bagged the cash but in some circumstances (when you haven’t paid up) I may move you to the numpty blog so you have to massage my ego and beg to be let back into the big boys’ blog. You may pay me something at a later date so I wouldn’t want to lose you before then. I work on percentages, yeh.
So there we have it. Anyone displaying those attributes obviously wants to be banned. You have been warned.
Duncan Mitty Esq – Glavnoe Upravlenie Lagerei
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