Meet the Team!

I like to run this site as if everyone were one big family. It gives me great satisfaction to take subscriptions from the little people and give them their fix of Boutros information. Not everyone is as lucky as me so I like to help them out. For a fee. Here’s the team of people you could meet when you subscribe to the Gold Blog 2.0.

 

Duncan Mitty Esq – The great leader. Yes, it’s me.

 

 

 

Kevin - my stepbrother and loyal henchman. To be fair he’s only a young lad so if I ply with him beer and pay for servicing on his Sinclair C5 he’ll do anything for me.

 

 

Demi - loyal as hell. She doesn’t actually know what she’s got herself into as I’ve told her a complete pack of lies. Helps out moderating the blog comments. Also threatens subscribers, over the phone, at home or work who post the truth in the blog comments. All for a pittance too, great! Cash in hand, obviously.

 

 

Derekanna - she’s a sexy 18 y/o blonde as you can all see. Also helps out with moderating the blog comments. Chat to her on the Gold Blog 2.0.

 

 

Disco_Sydney_A – an extremely loyal member of the blog. I’m not quite sure what he’s trying to achieve but I like it. I think of him like a little pet as he’ll stand by me and keep posting on the blog no matter what people say to him. He has a nasty little temper on him which he vents at everyone on the blog comments. I can understand that myself because, just like me, he’s stuck in his bedroom 24/7. Some people think I pay him which isn’t true, the lad does it all for a free Gold Blog 2.0 subscription. I think that says a lot.

 

 

Boutros Boutros-Ghali - the man who made all this possible and one of the “suits” I aspire to be.

 

 

Ma jigga Ruff – and his latest ho. Man, he so cool. He da man. Packin’ a piece, he got beef wi’ dem rival bloggers and banned former members of this blog (the sad *******). Shiiiieeee, you mess wi’ da Ruff, he bust a cap in yo ass. Keep it real Ruff, you ma friend.

 

 

KingJeremy93 - The latest subscriber to the Gold Blog 2.0. Looks like a nice lad, he’s saved his pocket money for the last few months to pay me and get hold of all the latest gossip on Boutros Boutros-Ghali. Subscribers like Jeremy enable me to live my wonderful life up in Wallsend so I like to think of them as family. You could join them here.

 

 

Rival Bloggers – (the sad ***********) I don’t know who they are or where they live but I have their names and addresses. If I can just find them, I can get a contract out on them to save DME from the feds. I already know who they are and where they live but if anyone knows who these people are or where they live please let me know. I wouldn’t do anything to harm them, in fact I wouldn’t do anything at all, I just want to know who they are and where they live. If you know who they are, let me know but don’t go posting the replies on rival blogs or I’ll get the hitman on to you too.

 

 

DME Hitman – because of all the fools posting in the blog comments lately I’ve decided to employ a full-time hitman to nip this problem in the bud. Anyone disagreeing with me or generally violating the AUP will get a visit at work or home from Derek (pictured) who will plant a bullet in their head at the earliest opportunity. For the most addictive, fun packed, informative Boutros chat on the internet subscribe to the Gold Blog 2.0.

 

 

Banned former members of the blog. The sad **********. They’ve all banned themselves, I’ve never banned anyone who doesn’t want to be banned. They’re all JEOLOUS! of me, that’s their problem. The sad ********.

Duncan Mitty Esq – Glavnoe Upravlenie Lagerei

For the hottest UNOFFICAL Boutros action available on the internet subscribe to the Boutros Boutros-Ghali DME OFFICIAL Gold Blog 2.0 (only £30 per year, £5 cash). Do not accept poor imitations, the Daily Star said this blog is shit hot and you can’t get better than that, yeh.

The No1 UNOFFICIAL Boutros Sob Story on the internet – Part Two

… continued from the previous mindless drivel:

They say I’m scared of other blogs because I wont allow any reference to them whatsoever on our blog. Not true. When someone spams my member I get extreme pleasure from that. It’s a rare fetish, I know, but each to their own. If someone tries to disrupt my income stream I think it’s only fair I ring them at home or work to threaten them and if that doesn’t work get a hitman on the case. Have I ever threatened Kofi Annan because of his Boutros Blog? No. Why’s that then? Partly because Kofi is a decent enough bloke but mostly because Kofi’s blog is much superior to mine in every sense and I’d look an even bigger fool than I do now. Kofi and I have exchanged a bit of banter over the years and while we may have different views on life (he’s not a conman) he’s never acted like a 5 year old (like I do).

I’ll explain much more in the Hollywood Thriller later THIS year ok. I just wanted to throw a small message up saying that if you appreciate this blog and you really do appreciate the work I put in for you then please, please, please, let me know because I’m starting to realise the past few years of my life have been a complete waste and I’m probably paying years of back tax to the Inland Revenue. Any positive words might help my cause.

Many other Boutros blogs accept donations and only use them to pay for the running of the freely accessible servers. Instead of asking for donations I decided to create a childish world of make-believe to entice people into sending me money and then create a subscription only service where the prime bullshit is written. Join the Gold Blog 2.0 here.

If a member asks for help, be it Boutros or non-Boutros related I’ll bend over backwards to help them. A member asked for help about 3 minutes ago, actually. He wanted some pictures of Boutros Boutros-Ghali in a maids outfit… straight away I got on to Kevin and told him what he had to do. Yeh, get photshop out pronto!

We enjoy what I do, we don’t anyone to go anywhere, but it’s your choice. If you decide to leave where you are now and move to somewhere else then that’s your choice. I’d prefer if it you just stayed where you are now and perhaps refreshed the page a few times as I’ll get a few pence from the ad companies if you do it enough.

I know that the persons responsible for dobbing me in to the authorities has access here. All I’d say is that you must have too much time on your hands. I can barely fit in time to threaten people these days as I’m spending time trying to cover my tracks. I’m no sad thicko, me. You’ll never break me, ever. The Inland Revenue might but you lot wont. I’ve been through so much in my life I can’t believe that anyone has had a worse life to be honest. I don’t know why I bother, reallly, I don’t. Please send me money, please.

The law-abiding citizens trying to report me to the authorities are at the bottom of the pit. The authorities themselves are right at the top. Anyone who knows me (hi Ruff) will tell you that you are wasting your time. I was doing a fantastic job of ruining this blog on my own without your intervention. The paying subscribers are the only people that count.

People say, go to the police, go f*ck yourself, go to hell. What’s the point? I’d only get into the shit myself as they dig into all the illegal activity I’ve been involved with over the years. If I need to do anything I’ll see I get a hitman straight on the case. I’m too unfit to actually threaten anyone myself, if they walk off at a decent pace I’ll never catch them unless I can get back into my second hand Merc in time.

You’re faceless. You daren’t reveal yourselves, you daren’t reveal your contact details, you daren’t knock on my front door. You’re a coward. I thoughtlessly left all my contact details behind a PO Box No. registered to my house, that’s how thick I am. We know who you are (a couple of members of the blog OldBill1 and ChiefInspectorDaveSmithOfScotlandYard33 are coppers and you forget my uncle is a copper too and they’re willing to put their jobs on the line to help me out. That’s how respected I am) and I know where you live. I aint gonna do anyfin coz me family come first. I’m takin me ball home. Mum, Ricky said I look like a clown and smell of poo baaaaaahhhhh.

I declined the hitter (yeh, I laughed too at the time, I think it’s funny to threaten people’s lives online, that’s how fucked up I really am) although when my 2 year old was crying it was tempting. I’m not threatening to kill him, mind. I just need a good kip and he’s getting on my nerves.

I was just explaining to a “suit” what had been happening and he nearly lost control, he couldn’t believe I’d blatantly make this stuff up. He nearly hit me he did. Then this other bloke, yeh, (who I know) almost lost control too and, right, yeh, then, like, said that stuff should never happen. And then this alien came down from outerspace and he said it was terrible too. And right, this dinosaur came in the pub and we all, like, ran out but then this hitman came in and shot it and that’s how I met the hitman. He said it would only cost, erm, £374 for him kill someone for me, he gave me a massive discount as I’m a mover and shaker in the world of hitmen. And I thought wow, that’s really amazing and, like, I can kill all these rival bloggers and take over the Boutros blogging world. Muhahahahahahaha!!!!

But then I thought it would be giving in to these numpties. But, dob me in to the authorities any more and you’ll be pushing up daisies, guaranteed. Unless there’s a lot of you, I might not be able to afford that. He might give me a bulk discount, I’ll check that out.

If you want to dedicate your every minute to talking about me (why? what have they said?) and my website, you must live a sad and shallow existence. I should know.

You receive the support of the rejects and not the tens of billions of Boutros fans who email me every day telling me how much they love the blog. Think about it. Take a look around yourself and compare your life. Do you have a second hand Merc? A semi-detached in the North East of England? Health Problems? No Friends? No respect from anyone? No conscience? A single digit IQ? Well, when you do, get back to me and I’ll listen to you.

As for the members here, as I’ve said, they are extended members of our family. I treat my family like shit too. Just let us know when it’s time to start working in McDonalds to keep ourselves occupied.

I don’t intend to reply to this thread as I don’t want a debate. The simple fact is that I’m always right LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I can’t hear you LA LA LA LA LA. Only bother posting if you’ve got something nice to say. Life’s too short for all that truth nonsense. All we want here is for you to say how great the site is. It’s just a shame that some Boutros fans aren’t as thick as me and have seen through the bullshit I’ve spouted for years. It’s just a blog ffs. Let me carry on bagging the cash and I wont get the hitman on to you. It’s not a threat. No.

If anyone wants to email me personally, my email address is xxxxxx@xxxxxxx.com.

I’ll be in the HQ soon.

FOAD.