Oh give over I don’t know why I bother

I’ve been in Hollywood working on my latest film 24/7 which will be released later THIS year ok. I’ve picked up some great inside sources for all things Boutros from that great guys and gals in Tinseltown. so DME will soon move up from the Number 1 VIP Insider Unofficial Boutros Offical Boutros Blog on the net to the Number 0 VD Offal Boutros Bog on the net.

That’s the only way this blog is going, mate. Seen it all before, mate. 10 years of internet presence.

Seeing Boutros Boutros-Ghali asked questions about UN delegate rotation in every interview he gives is getting tiresome. In fact, almost everything I do these days becomes tiresome, I don’t know why I bother, really, I don’t. I could pack it all in tomorrow but I prefer to lie in my bed, hiding and dreaming up this festering bullshit occasionally reaching for a pie. You just don’t know how difficult it is.

Statistics show that the most successful UN Secretary Generals have rotated their delegates. It’s impossible in the modern global association of governing not to.

Although previously not a fan of rotation of delegates I’ve some to understand that you have to chop and change to field the best set of delegates for a meeting.  If Boutros wants to rotate then I fully understand why.

Let me sum that last bit up for the numpties. I saw an article in a web based newspaper on delegate rotation and decided to rewrite it like a GCSE student. It’s my choice. What I don’t understand is why no-one is in the slightest bit interested in me rehashing an article I just saw in a newspaper to become an ill thought out set of statements with no form whatsoever.

I’m on a diet. I got it from that Little Britain show, absolutely brilliant. I’ve lost 14 micrograms in under 3 weeks. It’s the half the calories diet. Yeh, the half the calories diet. Take a pie, any large pie. Cut it in half. That’s half the calories. The half the calories diet. And because it’s half the calories you can eat twice as much! Yeh, it’s great. 

I don’t know why I bother. My second cousin’s neighbour’s best friend has an ingrowing toenail so I had to spend a few weeks away from the keyboard. Rival blogs and banned former members of this blog (the sad ********) reckon I’ve been hiding from the authorities but it’s all great publicity for me.  You can hear all about this on my latest newscast on MiTV beamed down from my very TV studio on the moon.

So I can’t take a few weeks holiday in Malta and occasionally log in remotely to update this blog? What’s the world coming to when a charlatan isn’t allowed to spend his ill-gotten gains on a nice little trip for himself and his family. You don’t know how hard it is, really, you don’t. I know this will be pasted all over the net but I don’t care. I’m fighting these numpties until the plug is pulled on the server for late payment, they’ll never break me, never. Yeh.

When I was hiding from the authorities I thought to myself, is it worth it? I mean I don’t get paid a wage for this, all your donations are spent on business expenses or my kitty.

Kitty is a lovely cat but her mortgage is massive, as are the repayments on her Mercedes Kompressor convertible and her diet of pies and beer is also massive. Her ex-wife and couple of kids cost a few bob.  She’s addicted to laptops and plasma TVs too. And her portakabin needs a lick of paint. Donate to the Blob here and help with kitty’s payments 24/7.

I’ve got so much mental stuff going on at the moment I daren’t open the mail or answer the door. I’ve got nothing to hide but I don’t see why I should have to put up with this. I’m the world’s best independent impartial delusional blogger on the net, this shouldn’t be happening to me (the sad ********). So I told a few white lies, what’s wrong with that? Nobody was hurt. I do it on purpose I tell ya, I do. Not the ears! It’s to get people talking, I don’t really believe the stuff I say. I can’t tell fact from fiction any more, help me. Subscribe to the Cold Blob here.

I’ve seen other blogs reporting that Ban Ki-moon is likely to take Boutros Boutros-Ghali’s place in the United Nations strikeforce in the near future. They’re reporting a deal has been pencilled-in and is likely to take place within the next few weeks. Don’t believe a word of it. Boutros is first pick and always will be. I can’t give details but my sources close to the delegation are telling me this is all investment related and the true facts aren’t out there yet.  I believe the frustration of investment has caused people to jump to the wrong conclusions and suggested Ban Ki-moon incorrectly. Time will tell but I’ve yet to be proved wrong on one of these stories.

If any non 100% die-hard mature Boutros fans contradict that last paragraph they will immediately be banned and the offending blog comment deleted along with a little edit on that last paragraph. A hitman moderates this blog 24/7 and will pay anyone a visit who refers to that last paragraph if it is proved wrong.

I fancy a little holiday just before Christmas too, so don’t forget to sign up for the World’s Number 0 Unofficial Boutros : Official : Independent Boutros Blog On The Net ™ Unofficial Boutros Official.

Your cash is my aim, your loss is my gain.

Always knowingly over-soiled.

The blog behind you is a DME.

The future’s bleak, the future’s DME. 

DME – every little helps (my bank balance).

DME – you’re hatin’ it.

DME – refreshes bank balances the Inland Revenue can’t reach.

Donationz Meanz Liez.

It’s good to bullshit.

A donation a day helps me sleep, rest and pay (my bills).

Have it my way.

Vorsprung Dunk Bullshit.

If it’s in, it’s bullshit.

I liked it so much I bought a portakabin and a plasma and some posters and a Merc and a camera.

Arsesmackin’, teethclenchin’, shitsmellin’, bullshitin’, demotivatin’, clubfootin’, fatfuckin’, shitstirrin’, bogbustin’, alkafizzin, DME.

I is ritin a storie for teh blog again

In one’s role as facilitator of this particular communiqué I feel it is only correct, within my immoral obligations, to let others know in this, the latest formal and systematic exposition of DME, the latest news pertaining to Boutros.

Other adversarial authors (the sad ********) may, in their internet exegesis, poo-poo one’s allegory, grasp of reality and underline one’s record of deceit but one is not discontented. They may highlight one’s calumniation of Boutros but said adversaries will likely never rupture one’s spirit. They may admonish me for the numerous falsehoods published on one’s blog but one will never cease in one’s mission to serve one’s loyal army of devoted readers. Procure a donation to the Gold Blog 2.0 here.

One met an operative at a New York lodging establishment, yeh. The resultant colloquy ensued and many choice comestibles were consumed. It transpired Boutros’s movements were my interlocutor’s forté. The discourse flowed and one imbibed the juicy morsels of information which were divulged in a surreptitious manner.

One also imbibed a tasty appley beverage with much gusto and, later, one urinated like a diabetic racehorse which has consumed a hundredweight of lubricated diuretics. One does this for one’s kin. Oh, the vexation one must bring to oneself, why must one inconvenience oneself when one could take and endless sabbatical at one’s pleasure. Procure a donation to the Gold Blog 2.0 here.

The colloquist elucidated, outside of the formal communiqué, discreetly, various facts which may, if disclosed, compromise one’s agents and challenge the statesman like reputation of Boutros. Suffice to say, the intelligence gathered in the clandestine rendezvous will remain concealed until one decides it is to one’s advantage to spill the beans and make a few quid, yeh.

precís: One is cash-hungry and desperate. Procure a donation to the Gold Blog 2.0 here.

K3V – I is 15